Can anyone help me see straight... my confidence has taken quite a knock.?

That lack of confidence has served you well -- it's driven you to pursue a Ph.D., to make yourself attractive enough to be a model, and to meet a variety of guys. Probably with the help of a therapist, you should try to get more insight into where the low self-esteem and lack of confidence come from. I wonder if you have an addiction to a lack of confidence, out of fear that if you have confidence you will not succeed in the ways you are currently succeeding? I think that issue needs to be explored. In the meantime, the fact is you got out of a dangerous relationship and have an opportunity for a better one. If that new guy doesn't turn out as great as you think, you obviously have the strength to walk away. And, also remember that beauty is the eye of the beholder. If he likes you, it doesn't matter what you think of you. You need to work on yourself esteem, but in the meantime take a chance with love. Love is rarer than Ph.D., so don't p up the possibility that this man is the love of your life and, if he is, he will help you restore your lightheartedness and joviality.