Feeling Suicidal - Running out of options. Help :(?

The first thing is that you need to retain some kind of hope. Get rid of anything you might use to harm yourself give it to a neighbor. 2nd Drs. don't like to step on each others toes so ... I would go to the nearest town find a shrink & don't say anything about past stuff just start over. If you don't like that one move on until you find a shrink & therapist you can work with & trust. Good luck